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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 4:56:29 GMT -5
Post by Addison's girl on Sept 11, 2012 4:56:29 GMT -5
Why did David agree with Maddie when she said it was an affair. Do you think he really believed that? Do you think she did?
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Deleted
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 5:38:52 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2012 5:38:52 GMT -5
First, I don't think she herself believed that. I mean, after only so much as one day she couldn't possibly be so determined about the nature of their relationship which had just started - even if it hadn't been the perfect start. I can imagine two possible explanations for her using the word "affair": she wasn't happy about how it had started and how it made her feel (loss of control, overwhelming feelings, ashamed of her own wildness etc), and she was overacting as she often did, maybe to convince herself that it would be better to stop the whole thing. Or she used the word to provoke David to tell her that of course they were so much more than that; probably not even deliberately trying to manipulate him. Maybe, and that's what I think most probably, a mixture of both. Why did David agree? He didn't think they were an affair either. I think he panicked because he saw that things weren't running smoothly; he saw that something was wrong, was bothering her, but he couldn't figure out what it was. So maybe he thought - hey just agree with what she says to calm her down, and once she calms down she'll start to feel the same happiness I feel. Amazing that after all this time they didn't understand each other better! Both should have known that their respective behavior was not likely at all to make the other understand them!
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Post by Addison's girl on Sept 11, 2012 5:43:05 GMT -5
And instead of calming her down his agreement that it was an affair just made her Wilder. Lol
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 5:44:27 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2012 5:44:27 GMT -5
Exactly. They were both behaving as if they had no idea how the other one's brain worked...
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 15:43:56 GMT -5
Post by Addison's girl on Sept 11, 2012 15:43:56 GMT -5
Yes! LOL LOL And they knew each other that is why their behavior is so ridiculous! David needed to be more tender and loving if he wanted to calm her down..use his sweet talk. And she would have been putty in his magic hands.
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 15:58:11 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2012 15:58:11 GMT -5
Yes. And she needed to clearly say what she wanted, to voice her fears and needs - and not play mind games with him (saying something with the purpose of provoking him to disagree and getting mad when he doesn't). If she told him "This is stronger than me, and therefore it scares me to death and I'm not sure I can handle it - but I want to. Help me!" instead of her "you're not who I'm supposed to be with; I unplanned this" he would have known what bothered her and not brush her off as nuts. Both were stupid.
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 16:20:08 GMT -5
Post by Addison's girl on Sept 11, 2012 16:20:08 GMT -5
Yes both were stupid and immature! She did say that in the laundromat and he didn't pick up on it. By then I think it was a case of 'The boy who cried wolf.' She had probably told him so many times during that month that she was through with him that he didn't believe her..see how he checks out his hair in the mirror not even listening to her as she rants on.
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Deleted
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 18:08:04 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2012 18:08:04 GMT -5
Let's say maybe she tried to tell him (in her own totally weird way). But I don't think she ever actually named to him what bothered her.
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 18:09:57 GMT -5
Post by Addison's girl on Sept 11, 2012 18:09:57 GMT -5
She said that it was too strong for her. That it hurt and tore (I think she meant his thing here) lol lol
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 18:14:45 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2012 18:14:45 GMT -5
When did she say that?
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Affair
Sept 11, 2012 20:23:29 GMT -5
Post by Addison's girl on Sept 11, 2012 20:23:29 GMT -5
At the laundromat.
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Affair
Sept 12, 2012 4:08:02 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2012 4:08:02 GMT -5
Oh I know that! At the laundromat it was too late (according to herself), we were talking about during that month, weren't we? I'm sure if she had said clearly to David what it was that made her unhappy and uncomfortable (and not in those ceyptic ways like in Trip) he would have done something about it, because I'm convinced he lived her and wanted her to be happy. The problem is she simply couldn't make herself clear, and he was too stupid to read between the lines.
And btw she didn't quite voice her real fears, not even at the laundromat! She didn't say that the intensity of her own feelings scared her because they made her lose control, and she didn't say that she was afraid she loved him more than he lived her and that he maybe wasn't willing to commit and have a long-term relationship with her. Too tongue-tied both or saying the wrong things, even here.
Oh and I'd really like to know how you'd answer your on question: why did David agree to her affair statement, did he/she think it was?
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Post by Addison's girl on Sept 12, 2012 6:10:18 GMT -5
No of course I don't think David thought it was an affair. He loved her. I think he said it to hurt her after her I'm exactly who you want to be with line lol and I agree Maddie never voiced her feelings clearly but how could she say any of it to David? She was probably afraid he would make a joke out of her feelings. And how could you tell someone I'm afraid I love you more than you love me which they both were frightened of.Or you make me lose control..I could just imagine David's come back for that!
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Affair
Sept 12, 2012 6:45:57 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Sept 12, 2012 6:45:57 GMT -5
I didn't say it was easy. Love never is, and sorry Miss Hayes, but it IS hard work, always! And I really don't think David would have made fun of her if she was that honest wirh her feelings, but we'll never know that of course. Did he want to hurt her back? Hmm, maybe, but don't forget that she said it first, those were not his words. What do you think were her reasons for saying it?
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Post by Addison's girl on Sept 12, 2012 9:11:51 GMT -5
David would not have made fun of her at all. Even if he didn't understand he would have tried to understand. I think she said that cause 1: she was scared and lashing out and 2: she wanted him to tell her it was not an affair..that he loved her etc.
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